wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
Randomize
