Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
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