1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
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