i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
Randomize
