the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
