I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize
