I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
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