Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
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