Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
Randomize
