she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
Randomize