You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
Randomize
