I'm drive I can fine osifer
At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
Randomize
