my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
Randomize
