we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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