I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
Randomize
