how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
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