Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
Green mimosas i think yes
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
Randomize
