it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
Would it be weird if I congratulated the guy who almost broke up my marriage for working on the marriage equality bill? You know, thanks for fighting for the sanctity of marriage. Weird, right?
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself