i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
15 Things That Could NEVER Happen Anywhere But the South
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
15 Times “Flight of the Conchords” Made You Feel Better About Being a Twenty-Something
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.