Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
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I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
These 21 People Are Related To Famous Celebrities
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???