Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
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I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
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Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
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