I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
Randomize
