is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
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