I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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