It's Friday. Sex?
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Randomize
