Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
Randomize