i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
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