capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
Randomize
