I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
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