and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
i am craving dick and cupcakes
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
Randomize
