trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize
