He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
Randomize
