I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
Randomize
