but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
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then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
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Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
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