He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
Randomize
