he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
Randomize
