we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
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