HIV tests are more positive than that guy
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
There r osticjed everywhere
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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