I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
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