I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Come on in and take your pants off
Randomize