I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
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