No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
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