I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
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