well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
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