Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
I'm sorry for everything. i woke up with two citations stapled to my shirt.
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
and she was petting her beer can
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
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