Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
Randomize
