just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
Randomize
