Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
Im part way to drunk.
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
Randomize
