How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
Randomize
