Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
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