how can u be prego again
I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
He just canceled. I got an amazing new dress and now he’s decided he’s spending the weekend with his family
In other news, there’s some rando in an expensive hotel bar who is going to get very lucky tonight because I love the way this dress makes my tits look. Want to help me find him?
Randomize
