so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
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