Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
The dick lei will go down in squad history
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
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