Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
Randomize
