Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
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I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
Somewhere between the 30 minutes of cunnilingus, the improvised song about the Olympics, and the super thoughtful shower beer... I knew I married the right guy
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
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You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize