you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
Randomize
