I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
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