Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
My boob is missing a layer of skin
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
Randomize
