Do you still have your period?
two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Randomize
