i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
I was lying there too hungover to move when my dog jumped onto my bed and set half a calzone on my pillow. Best. Dog. Ever.
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
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