It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
I just crop dusted the hot FedEx guy delivering my business cards...then asked him "Was that you?" How the fuck am I allowed to be an adult?
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
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