wanna go halves on a baby?
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
Randomize
